Tipping.... To Tip or Not To Tip?

I've always been a generous tipper because almost every job I had up until I was about 30 was in the service industry, which paid crappy wages, so I relied on tips to subsidize my income. I remember a job I had in the 80's, where I probably made more money than most other people my age were making because the tips were so outrageous it kind of defied sense... I was a waitress in I guess what would be called a "biker bar" that had loud, live music 6 nights/week and I took home at least $100 cash every night in tax-free tips. (A fun side note was that while I worked there, a new, obnoxious but wildly popular kid played there who would very soon after be discovered and redefine Canadian rock music - none other than Brian Adams!)

Because I knew the power of the cash "take-home" I always had a job in either a restaurant or bar, all the way through University and right up until I took a "career" job with an actual salary, benefits and other perks that would come to make up for the loss of the tips. I have always loved to go out and so by then I was into the role of giving tips instead of getting them. This would last for a decade or so, before I would come to give up that dream job with all those fabulous perks for the masochistic torture of self-employment - owning a B&B - and receiving tips once again (but nothing so generous as my '80's experiences!).

What's Your Tipping Style?

My theory for restaurant tipping is what I think of as the 20% variable. Every server is a potential 20 right off the bat and they can slide downhill from there. I think of myself as an expert in customer service so it's pretty easy for me to judge any server's performance in any setting so I see my process as a very fair one. If they talk too much, smell funny, make stupid jokes, ignore my table, or F-up the orders they lose points - simple and easy. Because I'm so sympathetic to those brave soles in customer service they have to be a complete catastrophe to fall below 10% but I tend not to go to places where servers would be the caliber of that level of incompetence.

My dad's tipping style is similar to mine but he's 92, a bit old-school in thought and can be squeaky-tight in the pocket so starts everyone off at 15%. I kind of think he would not tip if he could get away with it but he does, with much scrutiny lol. At the end of the day, it's his choice what to tip; as far as I've ever known, tipping is (essentially) elective, not mandatory.

Here's a Tip: Sometimes Tipping is NOT Appropriate

What annoys both me and my dad (and literally everyone I've had this convo with) is when you are faced with a tipping prompt for a service that you were never expected to tip in before. Like the person who rings through your bottle of prosecco in the liquor store... When the heck did that qualify for a tip? They don't even put it in a freakin' bag for you anymore, they just run the bar-code over the scanner and quote you the price and we're supposed to tip for this? I'm not much of a fast-food eater but I do grab a hot beverage from a drive-thru window from time to time and I'm supposed to tip for that? The absolute most annoying tip request to me is a retail shop (ie: clothing); in my opinion this is total BULLSHIT and should never be allowed to become a thing.

Here's a good Tip: A Tip is a Great Way to Show Appreciation

As I age I have become much more aware of how hard some people have to work for probably not epic wages. I like to leave a gift card at Christmas in my mailbox for the mail-lady (even though she drives too fast through our complex), one on the doorstep for the regular delivery guy (who should probably consider a career as a race-car driver) and one at a local business that I'm very regularly at, with the gal who knows my name, greets me with a smile and great attitude every time. It's just my thing, once a year, to spread a bit of Christmas Cheer and to say "thank you" for the work they do to benefit me all year. I've discussed this with several good friends from time to time and was not at all surprised to learn that they do the same thing and for exactly the same reasons.

Apparently that's not everyone's practice, lol. I'm on our strata's Council and I thought it would be a good idea for us to take a little cash out of our annual six-figure budget and give a tip to the gal who cleans our clubhouse weekly; she does a really good job, is a super nice person and, to put icing on the cake, she's only got one hand. Here's a person who is obviously not wealthy - she's working for a cleaning company, drives a VERY modest vehicle, has had ongoing surgeries with that limb for what I understand is close to 20 years now and she's cleaning with use of only one hand! So I suggested a $100 Christmas tip to another person on our Council and you would have thought I suggested a ritual killing; I was met with complete silence and shock from the recipient of my suggestion. After a pause, the response I got was "No, we've never tipped anyone here", delivered with the tone of "and we never will, don't bring it up again". Wow, right?! I guess not everyone appreciates the clean gym, kitchen, bathrooms and meeting rooms like I do. I think I'll just add the cleaner to my personal tipping list and leave it there.

When Did The Tip Minimum hit 18%?

I was out with my dad recently, to a nice family run sports bar. We had a beer and the feature entre each with a small, inexpensive appetizer to share so it was a pretty modest bill. The service had been adequate - super casual, maybe even too casual as everything seemed to take a bit longer than it should have. Anyway, we were entertained by the game on the tv and table of loud, drunk men next to us who would burst out in bellowing laughter quite routinely throughout our stay. We sat on hard wooden chairs, had a paper napkin dispenser on our table and paper coasters with the local brewery's advertisements on them. Get the picture? NOT fine dining, but just fine, and the food was great. The bill came and dad (as usual) insisted on paying. The server brought over the remote card thingy and dad went to work. There was a long pause in the middle of the process and then he finished. Afterward, he told me he wouldn't go back there because the card thingy was set for the guest to pick a tip amount, starting at 18%; the other choices were 20%, 22% and 25%!

I'm not sure how to say this, but I think that is a bit aggressive and I, for the life of me, cannot understand why a restaurant would make such a polarizing decision. A tip is, first of all and as said earlier, elective. Second, the amount is up to the discretion of the tipper. Third, should never be automatically applied unless that was the original agreement (like a large party booking). In this case, unable to navigate his own way to a tip he was comfortable with, my dad had 18% taken from him in addition to the bill. Yikes! One of my fave sayings is "If I treated my customers like that, I wouldn't expect to have any!", and I kind of think that applies here, atta shoot yer dumb self in the foot.

Tipping is Not Mandatory

When I ran the lodge I got random, and some weird tips. Some guests would leave a bit of cash (never more than 10% of their bill), some would leave behind leftover booze (sometimes that carried a shocking quantity and value!), some left me a gift from their travels and some that I knew well, would bring me things that they knew I loved. Most guests either just left a bit of cash or nothing at all. I greatly appreciated the tips but didn't expect them, and certainly wasn't offended if they left nothing as my rates were designed to pay me for my time and expertise. Anything extra was just that; they thought I deserved a little EXTRA and so they left something.

These days, our society seems to make tipping a mandatory practice and I think it's gone too far. Back when I was working in the biker bar, I remember the minimum wage for servers was about $5/hour; it was well below the poverty line and for sure not enough to live on. Today, the minimum wage is about $18/hour and most restaurants pay over $20/hour. If a server is making $20/hour that's going to be a take-home of about $3000/month before tips and after taxes which isn't impossible. This math assumes a 40-hour work week which is NOT unreasonable; experience has taught me that many server-jobs aren't 40 hours/week but that's ultimately a choice that the rest of us should not be EXPECTED to subsidize.

We Created Our Own Tipping Monster

In the EU, tipping is not like it is here, it's pocket change, or a few bucks if something was more formal and fabulous... I think the servers there would prefer if tourists treated them and their menus respectfully instead of altering every dish with high-maintenance requests and demands, letting their bad kids run amuck and then complain that it's "not like home".

I think I'm going to start paying a little more attention to the tipping thing, maybe I'll be a little more discretionary with my own practices and speak out when I feel like I'm being pushed into a tip. I already eat out way less often than I have in previous years, partly because I can create better food in my own home but also partly because of the shocking expense of dining out these days. I feel like businesses are hitting a "tipping point"; some are going to have to redefine their business models if they're going to keep my business, because just adding the "extra" to my bill is not going to fly with me.

I think that's about the total compilation of all my thoughts on TIPPING. I'd like to hear what you think on the subject and what your tipping policies are. Please always feel free to drop me a line or two in the "contact me" section of my website or comment right here on my blog with your thoughts on this posting. In the mean time, thanks for stopping by and I'll hope to see you again soon!

Enjoying a snack on my trip to Italy... and yes, I left a tip!