Resolutions

A firm decision to do or not to do something - from Oxford Languages

That's the definition my pal google dropped right on my lap(top)!

To do or not to do... To B&B or Not To B&B - the coincidence is excellent... and very amusing to me!

But isn't that definition just totally representative of life in general? Every single thing we say or do involves a decision, even the most harmless statement or action only happened by choice. So many things seem to be automatic, almost autonomic; like getting out of bed, brushing my teeth, putting on the work-out wear for the trip to the gym, making a perfect cappuccino and sitting down with it to check my email and wear out that "delete" button a little more. I chose to do every one of those things over doing other things or doing nothing at all. They were, in essence, firm decisions, as there was no debate in my head about any one of them; I guess that characterizes them as "mini-resolutions"!

By the way "choosing to do nothing is still a choice; it sends a message and carries consequences", is a favorite expression of mine. We'll chat a little more about that one a little later on down this road...

Resolutions for a New Year

I guess when we discuss New Year's Resolutions, we are talking about decisions to guide the year, not just the 1 hour after waking up on any given day. In order to make a sound decision about what kind of intentions and aims I want practice to make my 2026 a good year, I have to look back at 2025 and think about where things could have been better and also on how to manifest more of the things that were better.

Let's sage the evil spirits first.

2025 was a year of great uncertainty for a lot of people, myself included. The year started with political dramatics on our continent, that would spread to other continents and cause greater divisions between people than I've ever taken note of. By the end of the year it was a constant news feed of toxic and violent episodes. Without getting to deep into that, I will just say, that for myself, it was a lot. Since Covid, I've noticed more anxiety, stress and actual mental illness that has manifested in very intentionally unkind behavior coupled with a total lack of empathy and/or regret. In recalling the experiences that could have been better in my personal little corner of the universe, the nasty things people said and did seemed to reach a new low this year.

I don't want to feel bad and I don't want to make anyone else feel bad either.

Resolution #1: Identify and isolate toxic behavior.

• If it's on the news there's not much you can do to change it, but don't let it be the center of every conversation you have with everyone. Address it and move on to something much more positive; continued conspiring and obsessing just isn't healthy and will probably not do much to improve your mood.

• If bad behaviour is coming from someone in my life, they will not be rewarded with my time and attention, they will be rewarded with a boundary, no exceptions. Then, if they can't respect the boundary, they will be further rewarded with my absence in their lives. In 2025 I reluctantly started letting people know when they crossed a line with me, and I have to say that, although it was super difficult, it immediately made me feel better. Having always been a People-Pleaser, I would often "let things go" but what I was actually doing was not letting anything go because it stuck with me and bugged me from the inside. I'm learning that in order to really let something go, you just have to give it back to the thoughtless or insensitive A-hole who gave it to you in the first place... But do it nicely, it feels even better if you're respectful while drawing a line in the sand because that element of killing them with kindness can be very delicious after-the-fact!

• If the bad behaviour came from me, I have to admit my regret, apologize and correct the situation if possible. I have to say that it's super rare that I've done something intentionally hurtful to someone else; that's just not how I roll and it's evident in my very long-term close friendships, which I value above almost everything.

Resolution #2: Be decisive.

Back near the beginning of this post I was talking about making decisions and quoted myself on heeding the message you send by choosing not to chose, or, doing nothing (like a jerk). I have been faced with thousands of decisions over my years and I just shake my head when I see non-responses to situations that require action. I see it all the time in group discussions and this past year it has really irritated the heck out of me, mostly because of one particular group I'm a part of. To me, it's weakness; the non-responder doesn't really want to make a decision and that further speaks to me that they shouldn't be there, part of the discussion or part of the group. For my part, in all that I do, if I come up to a problem, I will find a solution, or at least make a decision about mitigating the impact of the problem.

Let's shift to the positives!

So, what were things in 2025 that were better than in other years?

Resolution #3: Don't be afraid to try new things!

I went way out of my comfort zone and tried a couple of things I didn't really want to try and found that regardless of whether or not they worked for me, I was really glad to have tried them! I'm thinking about a big one in particular, that I almost regret because it has caused me a significant amount of stress and sadness this past year. You're probably thinking, "what's up with you, are you having a melt-down? I thought we were talking about positives!". LOL, it's ok, I'm not losing it. Although it's been unpleasant most of the time, the experience has given me a good introductory education in a new field and it has opened my eyes to the true colors of a few people that I had pegged totally wrong. My dad would call it "a valuable life-experience", I call it a "total pain in my ass with a couple of chocolate cherries on the side". Anyway, give those opportunities a shot, it might be worth your while!

Resolution #4: Give back.

I'm lucky to be in a place in my life where I've worked hard, made good investments, take super good care of my health and now have a good supply of free time to enjoy my life. I've found a lot of happiness in the time I spend with my people-circle and will definitely continue to do that this year. I've always been generous and have always donated to my certain chosen charities as well as contributing to go-fund-me pages and special circumstances that resonate with me. At the end of last year I volunteered my TIME with one of the local non-profits who specialize in helping seniors and will be spending that time driving seniors to their appointments throughout the Central Okanagan. I only did a couple of trips before Christmas but I couldn't believe how good that felt, simply because of the gratitude of the passengers. If something makes you feel good (and it will not land you in jail) then you should probably do it more often.

Well, that's it for me and my list for manifesting Sue's better life in 2026. My list was borne out of real experiences, much like my book, which also shares a few good lessons from the hospitality industry, lol. I hope you've enjoyed the post and it inspires you to make choices for an awesomer year ahead! As always I welcome your feedback and invite your comments!

Happy New Year!